At the age of five I loved to hear my daddy tell me tales. His voice was deeper than any great ocean, but as peaceful as any small stream. As he came to the best part he grabbed me by my waist letting me leap from the counter. "The princess is saved once more," he said putting me down.

Then holding his chest he coughed, but with a smile hid it. "Never fear for me," he said ruffling my hair in between his fingers. But I was afraid because of the dragon. He would come at times and cast his dead black shadow upon my daddy. Every time the dragon came my blood ran cold, and so did Daddy’s.

Daddy’s head turned quickly as we heard the front door open, and he pulled my ear to his lips saying, "Mommy approaches. Bow accordingly, then jump on her and kiss her good morning." Even though I really wanted him to tell me another story, I did what he said.

She paid my babysitter then called my name. When she came in and a ray of sun came through our kitchen window, shining beautifully onto her light eyes and dark skin.

Mommy‘s voice differed from Daddy‘s. She made shivers run down the sides of buildings. Though at times I remember her voice becoming as meek as a mouse when Daddy caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, and kissed her lips. That day she did not look over to Daddy. She hadn’t for two months.

Mommy had been working nights, and was always tired when she returned home in the mornings. She bent down and gave me a hug, while the sting of all the hair spray she wore choked me. For her hair always had to be stiff and perfectly firm. But then she pushed me away. I didn’t know why until she held out her finger, and swung it in the direction of the sink.

"What’s all this?" she said. I looked to see that some of the plates from the sink had been knocked down and the stool was turned over. I was shocked and must have stared for a long time. "Are you going to answer me?"

Mommy’s eyes were slanted down towards me, and she had slightly moved back into the sunlight‘s shadow.

"Do you want to break your neck by trying to fly off the counter," she yelled. "Just because Daddy use to..." She stopped herself and with her hands shaking, rubbed the sides of her head furiously then looked back down at me. "I don‘t want you to do that again. I‘m just too tired when I come home to worry about you." I knew I hadn’t jumped from the sink. Daddy had picked me up, of course, but I didn’t want to get him in trouble, so I said nothing and Daddy remained silent.

When Mommy finally gave me a faint smile, I knew she had forgiven me. "I’m going to take a little nap. You could play while I sleep, just don’t do anything dangerous."

Again Daddy pulled my ear to his lips and said that he would love to have a party, especially one where tea was served. Well, I was an expert at making tea, so I told him to follow me.

"Who ARE you talking to little girl," asked Mommy? I turned around and Mommy and I both stood there staring at each other. Then Mommy walked to one side of the kitchen. She opened a cupboard and reached inside of it.

"No!" I demanded. I slid out of the kitchen, but her eyes were still on me.

Our living room was a small square, partly outlined by two loveseats. In the center of the square was our round coffee table. On it a single red rose placed in a simple white vase. The patio window set next to the coffee table and the drapes had been split open, letting the morning sun lie upon it. This was where Daddy and I had our tea party.

While I laid out my fine china decorated with pink flowers and Barbie dolls, I looked up onto Daddy’s face. It had become drained and the strength within it had begun to disappear.

I poured him some tea and handed him the cup, and he sipped with a wider smile than Kool-Aid. I pouted my lips and whined. I thought he’d like my tea better than that. So Daddy gulped all my tea down, not leaving a drop, and rubbing his tummy like it was the best thing he had ever had. I smiled and clapped, and was glad he was enjoying himself.

But then I felt a pain in my chest that dragged. That morning I hadn’t wanted to see Mommy. She had yelled at me the other night, because she had said I was talking to myself, and made me feel stupid. But now I didn’t want her to miss out on the fun Daddy and I was having. So I told Daddy just to stay where he was and I would go get her.

When I peeked in her room, Mommy was bouncing on her left side to her right, from her stomach to her back, over and over again. Finally she rested on one side, and as she rested her head down she stared at the empty side of the bed. The blankets and pillows on that side were still neatly folded. Mommy looked at this site, biting her lips and wide- eyed, and out of nowhere ruffled the sheets and spread them as if someone had slept there.

She grabbed the pillow and laid it vertically. Then she caressed it with the back of her hand. She laid her head on this pillow and seemed more relaxed then she had been in a while. I decide not to disturb her after all. Yet I walked away with a new tingle in my head that made me feel uncomfortable.

I hurried to get back to the tea party. "Daddy?" I whispered as I began to run back to the coffee table. But outside, the wind had shifted, never to be changed. The glass had been opened a crack, and a splash of wind had seeped through, moving the drapes and making them waver. To me it was as if I could hear the dragon’s breath upon us. I froze.

I looked at Daddy’s hands and they shook, his teacup rattling endlessly on top of the table. A shadow had draped over his arm, and I knew it at once. The dragon had come to take Daddy away from me again!

Daddy’s eyes were distant and fading and his mouth gaped open. "Daddy not again!" I sunk my head to cry but then...

Bang! I looked up and Daddy’s body had collapsed onto the table. Both of his arms hung off the sides and his head lie flat and motionless. At first I stood with my body shaking like it never had before. I knocked all the remaining teacups off the table trying to wake Daddy but he didn’t move.

Mommy stormed into the room. "What is all this noise? Do you want the landlord to through us out into the street, is that it?" Tears began to come down my face and I looked from her to Daddy, over and over again. Her eyes slanted in on me then moved to where Daddy laid. "Oh, I see. You want you‘re poor mother to go crazy and break her back cleaning up the trash you‘ve left lying around." I gasped.

Mommy crouched down and looked at Daddy’s body on the table with cold eyes. Even then I thought she would help him, but she did nothing. I think it was then that I almost lost my mind. She had to see. She had to understand that Daddy needed help. I could not believe she wanted Daddy to be taken away from us again, and when I tried to come near him she shoved me away. I don’t know why I did this. I closed my eyes and I spit. I spit as hard as I could right into her damn face!

Then she spoke slowly as if she held many things back. "Okay little girl, THAT- IS- ENOUGH!" She grabbed my wrist so hard she twisted it. She pulled me mercilessly to my bedroom, and away from Daddy. He still lied there. But maybe he could have still gotten up and I had to try.

"Daddy!" Her eyes stared down on me in shock, and then she threw me into my bedroom. When she spoke her voice was choked and cracked.

"That is not fair." A tear ran down her face. "You need to calm down. I‘m getting them from the cupboard." She slammed the door and I tried to run to the door and open it but she had locked me in, and I pounded my fists against the door several times before I gave up.

I cried into my hands and then I remembered what Daddy had said once. Once in a white room when he lie in a bed with white sheets. Once when he appeared so awful I became almost afraid to look at him. Once when he asked me to kiss him on his cheek, so he could whisper in my ear. Once Daddy told me that I would always be his princess, and when I slept he would come to visit me in my kingdom. I did not understand why he would have to visit me, but I didn’t say anything then.

I jumped up from the floor and crawled up to my bed as fast as I could. I fell asleep, and I let myself dream:

It was cold at first, a cold that stung your heart. I remained standing nowhere for a long while, and just when I thought I had stood in darkness for more than I could bear I saw a light stretch across the floor, but only to be covered by a shadow. The pace of my heart quickened because I thought it was the dragon. Then I could hardly breathe, because I realized I had begun to walk towards the shadow. It became colder still, and as I continued to walk towards the shadow I closed my eyes.

I started to think that I couldn’t take it. I knew I couldn’t. What would the shadow do to me? What had it done to Daddy? I decided I had to open my eyes then, even if the dragon’s shadow lie right on top of me. I opened them and stood in front of a large square pit. My eyes barely dared to peek inside. When I looked up people who wore black surrounded me, and I noticed I myself wore black.

I started to shake again, and this time it was even worse. I was so scared. I needed someone’s help. My body would not stop shaking!

"What is wrong with you? Just wake up already." I squinted and I saw Mommy. I sat up and fell into her arms; feeling so scared that I trembled.

"Where’s Daddy? I want Daddy here too," I pleaded with her, but all she did was sigh.

"He‘s dead, Baby. We already buried him." Her face was worn out and tired. Just then she raised her head, and she frowned, as a new thought seem to come to her. "He‘s dead," she said at first solemnly. "He is dead," she repeated, this time making it sound as if she had finally agreed to something.

Her words were just a blur to me, though. I was scared and all I wanted was... "Can Daddy tell me another story. Please. I promise I won’t cry or yell anymore."

She turned her attention back to me. "We have to accept it. We both have to accept it." A tear began to run down her cheek, as she tried to embrace me. She caressed my cheek with the back of her hand. But then she unfolded her hand and in them lay two small white pills.

"Take them. They’ll make you feel better." I pushed myself away from her and crawled to the edge of the bed.