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~New~ Stopping Sexual Harassment before it Starts by Katherine West

Coping with the Frustration of ADD

"Just when your kids are fit to live with, they are living with someone else."
Unknown source

All parents feel frustrated at some point, but parents of ADD-ADHD kids truly know the meaning of frustration. They know that the daily roller coaster ride of emotions can wreak havoc on even the most stable family.

How can I cope with the stress and frustration of my child's ADD-ADHD?

Although there is no easy answer to this question, being selective about how and when to intervene with your child's education and behavior is crucial. Timing is everything, so pick your fights! By this, I mean that we must choose which conflicts need to be addressed, and be smart about when to approach the subject with your child. This will make your life must less stressful. This will also help you to create a good relationship with your child.

Is it as important for your child's room to be clean as it is for your child's homework to be done? Should we ignore his or her wild clothing that we may find unusual? Perhaps we should, and instead, foster a good relationship with our child. Isn't it much more important for us to help our child make decisions more wisely? I think so.

Consistency is also very important for maintaining your sanity, while reinforcing the household rules and expectations to your child.. If you are not clear on the rules for punishment or consequences, the inappropriate behavior will just continue. This is why, as parents, we must set limits, and always, always follow them. As with anything else, common sense and a level head will help any parent lessen the frustration of parenting

Yes, this can be hard sometimes. Perhaps you were planning on some quiet time while Sally spent the night at a friend's house, but if your rule is to ground her for missing homework assignments, you must stay the course! If not, she will just do it again, in hopes that you will conveniently forgive and forget, in order to appease your own interests. When an ADD-ADHD child, or any child knows that mom and dad will always punish for certain behaviors, he or she will learn the limits.

A child must be aware of the parent's wishes and expectations, especially an ADD-ADHD child. As parents, we can't punish or reward indiscriminately. Rules for punishment and rewards can not change. We must make our children aware of what will and will not be tolerated- you must be specific! Children need structure, so rewards and punishments must be consistent. You can't enforce the rules some of the time. No, it must be all of the time!

Homework is one of the most important activities that need very definite consequences and punishments. For example, if my daughter misses a homework assignment, she loses one of the following items: telephone usage, television privileges, CD player, computer privileges, and/or planned activities (parties, movies, and sleepovers). There also must be a set routine for homework time. In the next issue, I will give more specific homework tips for your ADD-ADHD child or any child for that matter. Check in for innovated techniques and common sense tips from Kat.