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var Quotation=new Array(); // do not change this!



    // Set up the quotations to be shown, below.

    // To add more quotations, continue with the

    // pattern, adding to the array.  Remember

    // to increment the Quotation[x] index!



    Quotation[0] = "When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. <p>-Emo Phillips";

    Quotation[1] = "Programming today is a race between software engineers stirring to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.";

    Quotation[2] = "If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? <p>-Stephen Wright";

    Quotation[3] = "If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: \'Take two aspirin\' and \'Keep away from children\'.";

    Quotation[4] = "Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.";

    Quotation[5] = "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.";

    Quotation[6] = "I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth. <p>-Janeane Garofalo";

    Quotation[7] = "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.";

    Quotation[8] = "Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.";

    Quotation[9] = "Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers. <p>-Leonard Brandwein";

    Quotation[10] = "There are no significant bugs in our released software that any significant number of users want fixed. <p>-Bill Gates";

    Quotation[11] = "Efficiency is intelligent laziness.  <p>-David Dunham";

    Quotation[12] = "By becoming a servant of darkness you can also engage in widespread plans of world domination. You can destroy the world with the method of your choosing and then jump up and down on its corpse.";

    Quotation[13] = "What if they just walked past some guy with gingivitis and shot him? <p>-DWeb";

    Quotation[14] = "I will eat your soul. <p>-10-Speed";

    Quotation[15] = "A CRASH MAY OCCUR WITHOUT PRIOR WARNING. <p>-GM";

    Quotation[16] = "Copied word for word from a worksheet: \"When asked why he was missing class so often, Nate replied, \'I thought that paying my fees to Taylor is like buying a bugger from MacDonald's.\'\" <p>-Dr. Mary Muchiri";

    Quotation[17] = "If it walks like a girlfriend, talks like a girlfriend and holds hands like a girlfriend, it IS a girlfriend. <p>-Mark (The Senator)";

    Quotation[18] = "You suck at typing.  I'm voting you off the computer. <p>-Me";

    Quotation[19]= "I sure wish that he <i>was</i> a drug dealer. I would buy my drugs off of him. Cause it would be sooooooo funny. <p>-Manda";

    Quotation[20]= "Folks, that's just stupid... <p>-Dr. Adkison";

    Quotation[21]= "Yall, that's just not right... <p>-Dr. Adkison";

    Quotation[22]= "Remember: this is the week I don't care. <p>-Dr. Brandle";

    Quotation[23]= "I'm not a geek; I'm a technically-qualified positive communicator. <p>-Dr. Brandle";

    Quotation[24]= "To me, the only people who are complaining [about filesharing] are people who are so rich they never deserve to be paid again. <p>-Jeff Tweedy";

    Quotation[25]= "...the authority was joking, drunk, or in some other way not being serious. <p>-Stephen Downes";

    Quotation[26]= "My body is filled with computer knowledge: My pinky toenail can write JavaScript! <p>-Mark (The Senator)";

    Quotation[27]= "no, i promise, i'm always retarded <p>-Blacksheep on IM";

    Quotation[28]= "It's kinda of a darned-if-you-do, darned-if-you-don't situation, except you really are damned if you do and only pretty much screwed if you don't. <p>-Joe Ringenberg";

    Quotation[29]= "sorry... i'm a moron <p>-Scooter on IM";

    Quotation[30]= "Use of a keyboard or mouse may be linked to serious injuries or disorders. <p>-Microsoft";

    Quotation[31]= "I'll have my people kill your people at lunch. <p>-10-Speed";

    Quotation[32]= "I would love to see you die. <p>-10-Speed";

    Quotation[33]= "Success is the one percent supported by 99 percent failure. <p>-Soichiro Honda";

    Quotation[34]= "Fearless experimentation often leads to surprising breakthroughs. <p>-Kiyoshi Kawashima";

    Quotation[35]= "If you imitate you will be criticized, but when you create you earn respect. <p>-Torao Hattori";

	Quotation[36]= "Don't try and confuse me with the facts! <p>-Bill McNeal from NewsRadio";

	Quotation[37]= "Well, you ripped out its heart and shoved it down its throat. Then, you put the whole thing through a meat grinder. Then, you cooked it up, ate it with a spoon, and barfed it back onto a cassette tape. <p>-Bill McNeal from NewsRadio";
	
	Quotation[38]= "That's about as useful as a snooze button on a smoke alarm. <p>-Jeremy Clarkson";

	Quotation[39]= "If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid. <p>-Eddie Izzard";

	Quotation[40]= "Hitler never played Risk as a child. <p>-Eddie Izzard";

	Quotation[41]= "It's quiet hours - the rules don't apply anymore. <p>-Blacksheep";

	Quotation[42]= "When you invite the whole world to your party, inevitably someone pees in the beer. <p>-Xeni Jardin";

	Quotation[43] = "I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. <p>-James Thurber";

	Quotation[44] = "So hip, so cool, so now! <p>-Me";

	Quotation[45] = "The real reason for not committing suicide is because you always know how swell life gets again after the hell is over. <p>-Ernest Hemingway";

	Quotation[46] = "I don't ask very much of you; only that you work immediately. <p>-Me (Speaking to Disobedient PHP)";

	Quotation[47] = "Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. <p>-Evan Davis";

	Quotation[48] = "I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. <p>-Emo Phillips";

	Quotation[49] = "Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. <p>- Albert Camus";

	Quotation[50] = "Discrete Mathematics is a difficult subject. If God himself wrote the best book there could ever be on Discrete Mathematics, and if God was your professor, believe me, it would still be a hard class.";

	Quotation[51] = "I hate happy people. <p>-Shaquez";

	Quotation[52] = "You're going to die of eye cancer or something. <p>-Jules";

	Quotation[53] = "Mike, watch out for that deer! ...oh wait, that's just a mailbox... <p>-Lacey";

	Quotation[54] = "You smell like a party. <p>-Jules";

	Quotation[55] = "If you can buy it, you can steal it. <p>-Anonymous";

	Quotation[56] = "They just tell you that because they are trapped inside that hellish institution. <p>-Brad";

	Quotation[57] = "What weak sperm we are. <p>-Tony Long";

	Quotation[58] = "Retarded babies are people too. <p>-Nate Suttor";

	Quotation[59] = "Open up! <p>-Blacksheep";

	Quotation[60] = "If there is a 7-figure salary invovled, I'm pretty sure God will be there. <p>-Me";

	Quotation[61] = "Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. <p>-Howard Aiken";

	Quotation[62] = "For every kid Voss has, I want 0.2 kids and a car. <p>-Me";

    // ======================================

    // Do not change anything below this line

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    var Q = Quotation.length;

    var whichQuotation=Math.round(Math.random()*(Q-1));

    function showQuotation()

    {

        document.write(Quotation[whichQuotation]);

    }

    showQuotation();



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