This mug shot of Igor Stravinsky was taken by the Boston police. It seems Stravinsky was arrested for "tampering with public property." In 1940 the police arrived at Symphony Hall and confiscated the instrument parts to Stravinsky's orchestration of "The Star Spangled Banner." He was charged with changing the traditional harmonies. This story can be found with the Koch release, Histoire de Soldat, Premieres & Rarities. On it is, another national anthem orchestrated by Stravinsky, La Marseillaise.

A drawing by Benedict Dolbin. Meyer Collection, Paris. Permission requested.

Here's the Kolisch Quartet (aka The Vienna Quartet) rehearsing Berg's Lyric Suite for a performance in Vienna January 8, 1927. Berg is next to the oval. Schönberg is standing. The Quartet was lead by the late University of Wisconsin Professor Rudolf Kolisch. Schönberg married the sister of Kolsch, Gertrud, in 1924.

Kolisch's quartet was founded in 1922; first known as the Wiener Streichquartett, then the Kolisch Quartet, it became internationally known as one of the protagonists of the Second Viennese School: Bartok, Berg, Webern, and Schoenberg. They entrusted them with the first performances of many of their works. They played the standard repertory from memory.

In Gramophone April 2000 Daniel Barenboim, former Chicago Symphony Orchestra Music Director quotes an old joke to Editorial Consultant Richard Osborne. They were discussing Schiller's Ode to Joy as found in the music of Beethoven, his 9th and Tippet, his 3rd.

"... if now is our Season in Hell , then when we occasionally celebrate - as we must and if we can - we do so with a deeper need and with a sharper pang." -Osborne.

"I am more optimistic than that. Maybe it has something to do with my Jewish inheritance, with the idea that the Messiah is yet to come. You know the old joke: 'If the Messiah arrives on earth an says, 'It's nice to be back.' We apologize to the Christians; but if he arrives and says, 'It's nice to be here.' the Christians apologize to us.'" -Barenboim

You know how people are always making fun of the
viola. Well, we're told that there is a whole category
of violist jokes. This one was sent to Cecilia This Week by Samuel Reifler, L.L.C of Rhinebeck Records.

A violist decides to go on vacation and buys a jig-saw puzzle to while away the time.

When he gets back, he calls the jig-saw puzzle company, quite excited and proud of himself. "It took me only 3 days to put it together," he announces. After a stunned silence, the company's operator says, "So?" "Well," says the violist, "it says '5-7 years' on the box."

Two violists go hunting and shoot a deer. They are dragging it out of the woods by its legs. A another hunter comes by and says, "You know that would be a lot easier if you pulled the deer by the horns." They take his suggestion and after two or three miles they stop and one violist says to the other, "We're headed the wrong way!" **

Two violists become pilots. The come in for a landing. One is at the controls and other is lowering the flaps. The landing is unusally difficult and after they are finally down the violist at the controls says. This runway is awful short!" The other one answers, "yeah but it sure is wide." **

**Thanks to Bob Newhart

Do you have a joke for this page? Send it along and we'll print it here. Please stick to the topic of music. Send your joke to:
* <divertimentocec@excite.com>

The title of this page reminds me of another standard phrase heard in musical circles when a musician asks "Do you know how such & such goes?"

And the answer frequently is"I don't know how that goes."

Gerry Mulligan, in response, titled one of his tunes: I Know, Don't Know How.

 There's a Beecham story that goes approximately like this: seems Sir Thomas was rehearsing a well known Haydn symphony with a prominent or- chestra and when they had finished a few move- ments Beecham stopped the rehearsal and said something to the effect, "I don't think we have to go any further. We all know this work, don't we?"

A cellist raised his hand and said he had never heard it before.

Sir Thomas answered, "Well come around tonight for the performance, you'll love it!

Jazz artist Chet Baker spent time in Italy and in the 1960's toured with Romano Mussolini, jazz pianist.

Romano was a son of the Fascist dictator of Italy Benito Mussolini who was killed and hung upside down on display by partisans at the end of World War II in 1945.

In 1959 when the trumpet player was first introduced to Romano he said, "Sorry about
your old man."

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and
all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.

He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van
Beethoven, 1770-1827.

Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony
and it is being played backward!

Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th,then the 7th, then the 6th and the 5th.

By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"Don't you get it?" the caretaker says incredulously,
"He's decomposing!"

This joke was sent to Cecilia This Week by BJ of Beaver Dam, WI.

 In the recent book, "Aaron Copland, The Life and Work of an Uncommon Man" there is story about one of Copland's most famous teachers, a teacher to many of America's leadingcomposers, Nadia Boulanger.

The story is told in other books and articles but it's taken here from Howard Pollack's Holt publication a wonderful contribution to music history:

"Outperforming most of her male colleagues at the Paris
Conservatory, she held her own alongside such classmates
as Ravel, Alfred Cortot, Georges Enescu and Florent Schmitt. By 1910, she seemed poised on the brink of a great career as a performer, composer, or conductor, but in the face of indifferent reviews, male chauvinism, a keen sense of her own limitations, and the death of her younger sister Lili, she devoted herself primarily to teaching. However she continued to perform as organist and conductor, becoming the first woman to conduct a number of major orchestras, including the London Royal Philharmonic, the New York Philharmonic and the Philadelphia Orchestra.

Copland was amused by her response to a reporter who
asked how it felt to be the first woman to conduct a number of major orchestras, including the Royal Philharmonic: 'I have been a woman for more than fifty years and it no longer astonishes me."

 
When Sir Thomas [Beecham] met Hitler, the German dictator inquired: "How do you think I would be received in your country?"

"You would, I have no doubt, be the object of great interest,"said Beecham.

Hitler said that if he came to London the matter of his safety would probably put a great strain on the police.

Beecham replied: "You would be safer in London than in your own country."

Taken from Beecham Stories compiled by Harold Atkins & Archie Newman and published by Robson Books.

 There is a Beecham story, about his distaste for the conductor/music director Herbert von Karajan who was tied to and benefited from the Nazi government.

Beecham had been avoiding Karajan in London for quite a while. But at one point Karajan was entering an elevator that Sir Thomas and his agent were in and Beecham's agent took advantage of the opportunity to introduce him to Karajan, "Sir Thomas I'd like to introduce you to Maestro von Karajan."

Without so much as a blink Beecham walked over to the elevator operator, shook his hand and said, "so nice to meet you!"